


The Whiskey That Wasn't

by thegrayness



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: David's Leather-Scented Body Moisturizer, Episode: s06e06 The Wingman, Kissing, M/M, Patrick's Biceps, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:54:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22759600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegrayness/pseuds/thegrayness
Summary: David and Patrick get, er, waylaid in the hallway outside Jake's apartment. Distracted. They get distracted.They make out.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 15
Kudos: 173





	The Whiskey That Wasn't

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. Okay, so lots of people have lots of thoughts about what went down (or didn't) in 6.06, and I do, too. One thought, is how in the hell did David resist Patrick as soon as he took his jacket off? How was Patrick not wholly distracted by the image of David moisturizing his entire body, which he has definitely seen in person? 
> 
> These are important questions, okay? It's just not realistic. 
> 
> Thanks to [TINN](https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_is_not_nothing/pseuds/this_is_not_nothing) for beta and title. Does she title all my fics, you ask? Yes.

Patrick picked David up from the motel at eight sharp, knocking a little too hard on the door. He was nervous. Excited, too. But still nervous. David swung the door open, looking predictably impeccable, and he leaned over to peck Patrick on the lips. “Hi, honey.”

“Hey,” Patrick breathed, and then took another deep breath for good measure. David put his hands on Patrick’s biceps over his jacket. 

“You okay? You know we don’t _have_ to go to Jake’s at all. There’s _whiskey_ at your apartment.” David was smirking. 

“There’s whiskey or there’s _whiskey?”_ Patrick asked, grateful for the distraction. David squeezed at Patrick’s shoulders and shimmied his own briefly. 

“I’m sure we can indulge in either or both,” he said, touching his forehead to Patrick’s.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Patrick agreed. “Let’s go, though. It’ll be fun. And if it’s not we’ll just—”

“We’ll just leave,” David said firmly. Patrick nodded in agreement. David kissed his forehead and took his hand as they walked to the car.

*

When they got to the landing of Jake’s floor, Patrick started to sweat. He was wearing a shirt he’d never worn before because he liked the way it made his arms look, but as he was taking his jacket off he started to feel ridiculous and obvious and so silly for _dressing up_ for a threesome with Jake. He tried to act nonchalant as he pulled his jacket sleeves all the way off, fixating his gaze on a weird spot on the wall as they walked. 

“Oh. Didn’t know we were… bringing our friends tonight.”

“Okay, I knew I shouldn’t have worn this shirt.” Patrick sighed.

“No, it’s nice,” David insisted, clearly amused. “It’s nice. Is it new? And does it come in an adult size?”

“It’s not new,” Patrick defended, fidgeting with his tuck, adjusting his waistband. “I just haven’t worn it yet.”

David stopped walking backward toward Jake’s door and let Patrick walk into his space. He fit his hands around Patrick’s biceps, and the look on his face was erasing all of Patrick’s wardrobe regrets. “So it is new, then,” he murmured, giving Patrick’s arms a squeeze. Patrick took in a shaky breath, pressing his cheek to David’s and closing his eyes at the scratch of his stubble. 

“Is that cologne I smell?” Patrick asked, face still tucked near David’s neck. 

“No, this is a leather-scented body moisturizer,” he said, palms now rubbing up and down Patrick’s arms. 

Patrick pulled away slightly to look David in the eye. “So—you moisturized your body, then.” He wanted to get his hands all over David’s moisturized body.

David folded his eyebrows down. “I moisturize my body literally every day, Patrick. Why _wouldn’t_ I moisturize for this occasion?”

Patrick hadn’t realized they were moving until his back gently hit the wall. David moved in a few more inches, pressing Patrick's shoulder blades into the stone. “David—”

“Your arms…” David said softly, closing the distance between them until their lips met. He squeezed Patrick’s arms again, and Patrick sagged against the wall. He slipped his hands inside David’s jacket, feeling the heat of him through the thin t-shirt he was wearing. He fumbled his hands down to the long hem, wiggling his fingers back up to slide along the skin of David’s lower back. 

David hummed into the kiss, and Patrick pulled him closer shifting his feet so David could stand between them and press their hips together. Patrick gasped as David kissed along his cheek, down his neck, settling on a spot that Patrick knew had the faint remnants of a hickey from earlier in the week. 

They had been on their way to Jake’s for whiskey and whatever, but now all Patrick could think about was David’s hips pressing into his, David’s lips fluttering along the tender skin of his throat, David’s hands holding his arms. He moved one hand to the front of David’s pants, hooking his fingers through his belt loop to tug him closer. David groaned against his neck. 

“Patrick,” he sighed, and Patrick wanted his lips on David’s immediately. He didn’t want to move his hands, so he jostled his shoulder and David took the hint, sliding his mouth along Patrick’s jaw and covering his lips again. Patrick was starting to sweat, he felt it prickle along his hairline, as David slipped one arm around his waist, smoothing his hand down to cup Patrick’s ass. 

David’s lips were insistent, and he brought his other hand around to the back of Patrick’s neck, keeping them as close as possible. Patrick moaned when the wet heat of David’s tongue licked at the seam of his lips and David echoed the sound when Patrick opened for him. 

David was _so good_ at kissing—intensely focused and intentional and so demanding—it always made Patrick’s knees weak. They usually had to migrate the backroom make outs to the couch back there pretty quickly, because Patrick lost all control of his limbs when David got his lips and tongue involved. Even two years later, Patrick was already leaning heavily against the wall as David took him apart. 

When David dragged his hand lower, over Patrick’s ass and down his thigh, pulling at his leg, Patrick took the hint and lifted his foot to hook around the back of David’s calf. The shift in their positions angled their hips differently, and Patrick tore his lips away from David’s mouth with a gasp. He let his head thunk back against the wall. “Fuck, David,” he panted. 

“Yeah, that can probably be arranged,” David said, breath hot against Patrick’s cheek. “Do you want to use these arms,” he squeezed at one of Patrick’s biceps again, “to knock on the door?”

Patrick bit his lip and reached up to cup David’s cheek, catching his eyes. It’s not that he _didn’t_ want to go to Jake’s. He… actually really _did_. Jake was… _hot_. And David was _devastatingly hot_. The idea of having them both was—

—not what he wanted right now. 

He shook his head at David. “You should take me home. Text Jake that we got caught up in bed, seems like he’d respect that.” Patrick grinned. “Tell him… ask for a rain check…” Patrick felt himself flush anew at the surprised and suggestive look on David’s face, and buried his own face in David’s neck again, slipping his hand into the back of his hair. David kissed his shoulder and his neck, all the way up to his ear. 

They both jumped at the sound of a door opening and Patrick peeked over David’s shoulder to see Jake emerging from his apartment. He looked seductively pleased to see them. “Oh, hey, guys. I’m just grabbing extra chairs. We’re just about to start the massage circle, are you joining?” There were voices pouring out from the open door, and Patrick was suddenly very glad he’d worn this shirt and it distracted David enough from going inside. 

_Massage circle?_ How many people were in there? They did _not_ discuss orgies. 

David had turned around to face Jake, and he grabbed Patrick’s hand and squeezed. “Actually we are going to head out, we have—we’re going to be busy.”

“Oh,” Jake said with a smirk. “Sure, yeah, well. Swing by later when you’re done, yeah? If you’re up for it.” He winked at them, heaved up a pile of folding chairs, and headed back inside. 

“Oh, my god,” Patrick whispered as David turned to face him. 

“Oh _my_ god,” he echoed. “Come on,” he gave Patrick a quick kiss, “better hurry if we’re going to make it back for the finish.”


End file.
